Christmas Surprise
by Unmarked In Death As In Life
Summary: It's Mordred's first christmas as a knight and he recieves a surprise. Oneshot :)


_A/N: So I wrote half of this in my last maths lesson (Surprise, surprise) and the rest of it today. I needed to do something to distract myself so I didn't cry for hours again and it's too early to wake anyone._

MERRY F*CKING CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Merlin last night shattered my heart into ten gazillion pieces that just got burned and melted and- Shut up, Jess. I literally cried for over three hours, at which point I forced myself to sleep. As I can't sleep for long, I woke up four hours later and had f*ck all to do.  
WHY DID THREE OF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTERS HAVE TO DIE?! :'(  
I WANTED TO F*CKING MURDER SOMEONE WHEN MORDRED DIED. My sister ran for her life. Literally.

Anyway, I'm going to upload a Merthur Christmas fanfiction later today, or tomorrow (I dont know what everyone has planned and it half done) and I'll update 'Too Far This Time.' :)

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Merlin.

Sorry for my awful writing and please forgive me if I make spelling and grammar mistakes. Feel free to critique/criticise anything; I really don't mind.

/

"Merry Christmas, peasants." Gwaine slurred, stumbling into the feast hall with a large mug of ale in his right hand. The night was still very young, but the knight was unsurprisingly already very drunk. At least he still knew his name and what day it was.

"And a happy new year." Arthur beamed, rising to his feet and raising a glass full of wine into the air. The rest of the knights attending the feast joined in, all smiling widely.

"It would be if I could get some time off." Merlin muttered, collecting some more food to offer to everyone. "But that will never happen."

"What are you complaining about now?" Arthur smiled to Merlin, sitting himself comfortably back in his chair.

"I just don't like working for prats." Merlin grinned, ducking a flying jug that came his way. "It's Christmas, Arthur, don't be moody."

"If it wasn't Christmas, Merlin, you would be in the stocks for being the worst manservant that has ever existed."

"Thank you." Merlin smiled, stealing a chicken leg from the plate he placed before the king. Arthur glared at him, then shrugged his shoulders.

"That can be your Christmas present, Merlin."

"How thoughtful of you, sire?" Merlin said sarcastically, wondering what he could give to his friends. There was no way he was getting Arthur anything- he'd saved his life enough times to not give him a present- but he wasn't completely sure what he could give the others. It occured to him that he could just take Gwaine to the tavern and he would be pleased, but the rest of his friends weren't as easy to buy for.

Merlin sighed, thinking he could ask Gaius later. The old physician knew everyone in the kingdom well and would be great at advising him what to get everyone. Not like any of them deserved presents; the only thing Merlin had recieved so far was a pair of socks. Gauis had used the excuse that it was Christmas eve, and not yet Christmas, but that may have been to keep his hopes up.

"It's now officially Christmas!" Arthur beamed, just as the clock passed midnight. Everyone cheered and half of them got up to dance with their friends, family and loved ones. Arthur kissed Guinevere's hand and asked her to dance which appeared to be an offer she couldn't refuse. They both danced happily, a permanent smile on their faces. But not everyone seemed as happy as they did. Smiling weakly, Mordred rose to his feet and quickly fled the room, tears twinkling in his eyes.

Merlin watched the young knight leave, confused why he'd left so suddenly and why he hadn't looked pleased. A part of him feared that he was going to see Morgana, but with the recent events that had taken place, it didn't seem likely. Convincing himself that he should check, just to be sure, Merlin slipped out of the room and quickly followed the young knight outside.

Mordred stared into the distance, trying to ignore the harsh wind biting at his face. Cold snowflakes were falling quickly from the sky and settling on his the ground around him. When they landed on his face, he shivered, but still refused to go back inside; he was freezing, but he felt better out here alone rather than with everyone else. Several tears ran down his cheeks and he wiped them away rapidly, making sure there was no chance they could become icicles.

"Mordred?" Merlin whispered, unsure of what else to do. The sight of the young knight crying had taken him by surprise and he hated the sight. Seeing him this way made Merlin's heart shatter and ache.

Mordred turned around quickly, his cheeks flushing crimson. He wiped his eyes and tried to act like he hadn't been crying, but his expression gave him away too much. "Merlin..." The young knight squeaked, surprised by his own voice.

"Why were you crying?" Merlin asked gently, genuinely concerned. As much as he hated to admit it, he cared for the young knight, probably more than be should have. He wanted to hug and comfort Mordred, but he knew that probably wouldn't go down well. So instead, he kept his distance and wondered if Mordred would trust him enough to tell him.

"It's stupid." Mordred laughed half-heartedly, trying to brush the matter. He didn't want to be the centre of jokes, which he knew he would be if Merlin found out why he really was crying.

"If it's upsetting you, it's clearly not."

"Believe me, it is."

"Just tell me." Merlin insisted softly. "I promise not to speak another word of it. I just want to help."

"I don't think you can help." Mordred sighed, feeling utterly stupid for having this conversation. He wanted to tell Merlin, but he was scared that he would be laughed at. It was clear to him that Merlin wasn't like that, but he didn't feel like taking risks.

"Mordred."

"Don't laugh at me." Mordred whispered, knowing that Merlin was probably too stubborn to give in anytime soon. "Everyone else is happy. They have someone to spend Christmas with, someone who loves them. It's stupid, but I've always wanted that although I'll never get it. I've only ever truly loved one person, and they'll never love me back."

Merlin stared at him, stunned by the answer he'd received. Whatever he'd been expecting, he hadn't expected that.

Mordred smiled sadly, turned on his heels and trudged towards the door. He didn't know what Merlin was going to reply with and, to be honest, he didn't want to know. Whatever it would be, he expected the worst and he didn't want that.

"Mordred, wait!" Merlin shouted upon realising that the young knight had started to leave.

Mordred stopped underneath the door, glaring at the decorations around it. There were wreaths of holly, handmade decorations and mistletoe.

"I know what I'm going to say isn't very helpful, but I'm going to say it anyway." Merlin smiled, stepping closer to Mordred. He stopped about an inch away from him, afraid that the young knight would run if he got too close. "I promise you this: one day, you will find someone and you'll both be happy on Christmas together."

Mordred sighed, rolling his eyes and getting ready to leave.

"Hear me out!" Merlin said loudly, needing to get the young knight's attention before he left and it became too late. He then lowered to his tone once more and continued. "You may think that no-one loves you, but someone does."

Merlin's heart started beating loudly against his rib cage and he was almost sure that it would break through. He was afraid that Mordred could hear it, but there was nothing he could do about that. His hands started shaking with nerves and fear, yet somehow the young knight before him didn't notice.

"Who?" Mordred asked softly when Merlin didn't reply.

"You may hate me for this, Mordred." Merlin whispered, tears filling his eyes as he raised his head to look directly at the young knight. Mordred's eyes clouded with confusion, but he also could not ignore the fact that his heart had sped up.

"It's Christmas, so you can't hate me." Merlin croaked, unsure whether it was true but saying it regardless. Biting the inside of his lip to get rid of his nerves, Merlin edged closer to Mordred, moving his face closer to the young knight's. He found it rather ironic of where they were, given what he was about to. Shaking furiously, Merlin gently pressed his lips against Mordred's. The action took the young knight by surprise, but his heart soared with joy and several tears trickled down his face. He lightly kissed Merlin back before taking a step backwards.

Merlin smiled sadly, unsure whether he'd imagined Mordred kissing him back. He was filled with fear that the young knight hated him and his eyes shifted to the floor as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Merlin." Mordred said softly, stepping back closer to him and placing his left hand on the young warlock's face. He gently wiped his tears away and smiled when Merlin glanced up at him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Merlin whispered, his heart soaring with joy. "This has been the best Christmas ever."__

/

NO, THIS HAS NOT BEEN THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! MERLIN ENDED AND IT WAS SO F**KING SAD! I CRIED FOR MORE THAN THREE HOURS AND IF I GET ANYTHING MERLIN RELATED FOR CHRISTMAS, I'LL BREAK DOWN AGAIN!

Sorry about that^^; Hope you liked it?:)


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